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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26219890">Death was the only thing that could keep you from him</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/saandy_writes/pseuds/saandy_writes'>saandy_writes</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Daredevil (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst and Feels, Fluff and Angst, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 04:54:55</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,770</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26219890</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/saandy_writes/pseuds/saandy_writes</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: "Because death is the only thing that could have ever kept you from him." -Ally Carter, Out of Sight, Out of Mind</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Matt Murdock/Franklin "Foggy" Nelson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Daredevil and Defenders Exchange 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. College Years</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katbelle/gifts">Katbelle</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>What a great prompt! This took me out of my comfort zone amd launched me at supersonic speed into the unknown. Which is to say: I really enjoyed writing it. Katbelle, thank you. For fuelling my creativity, yes, but also for being so patient with my panicky tumblr anons and a day late submission 😅<br/>I really hope you enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He realises it slowly, gradually, like his heart thinks he has all the time in the world. </p><p>Matthew Murdock knew he’d have new experiences when he came to college, but he hardly expected to fall in love with this best friend. </p><p> </p><p>It’s a snowy winter night when Foggy lends Matt his coat on the way back to their dorm (Matt always did feel the cold much more severely), and Matt thinks of how grateful he is to have such a wonderful person as his best friend. </p><p>It’s the day before spring break starts and Foggy’s finally letting Matt feel his face, a running joke between the two, both of them laughing hard throughout, and Matt nods approvingly.<br/>
“You’re beautiful,” he says, grinning, and Foggy laughs even harder. But Matt means it. And he’s a bit surprised by how much he means it. How truly he feels like Foggy might just be the best person in the world. Sweet, thoughtful, caring, generous- the list goes on and on. Matt frowns, gives his head a little shake. What?</p><p>It’s a crisp autumn day, the hint of oncoming winter and frost in the air. They’re sitting outside in the grounds, Matt and Foggy, sprawled out on the grass, trying to cram for a test the next day, but failing desperately, because Foggy keeps telling the lamest jokes but both of them are laughing so hard their stomachs hurt. </p><p>It’s then, perhaps, that for the first time, as Matt catches his breath, a huge smile on his face, that he thinks he loves Foggy.<br/>
He chases the thought away. They’re best friends, that's it. </p><p>Except it isn't.</p><p>Because the weeks keep passing, and the feeling keeps coming back. It’s just a dumb crush, Matt consoles himself. Nothing much. Nothing at all, really. </p><p>He goes to church and he feels the guilt eating him up inside, the knowledge that he likes  a boy. He walks out halfway through mass to go outside for some fresh air, and he thinks, guess it isn't that small of a thing after all. </p><p>They’re drunk, coming home from a party, talking about everything and nothing and their futures, two clumsy boys, bumping shoulders and brushing hands as they walk together, and Matt wants to kiss Foggy so badly, he shakes his head and steps a bit away to restrain himself. He reminds himself of the priest’s words during last mass, the warnings and the bible quotes and-</p><p>Matt feels like he’s suffocating. </p><p>He tries to see if Foggy feels the same about him, tries to pick up on any hints, but as far as he can tell… nothing.</p><p>Matt grows more withdrawn, his heart aching, yearning, for even the smallest sign from Foggy, wanting and not wanting a relationship with him at the same time, conflicted between his feelings and his religion.</p><p> </p><p>It’s summer, and they’re walking down the front steps, surrounded by other students and a dozen different conversations. Matt catches his name, but not the rest of whatever was said, because he was focused on another conversation. Before he even realises what’s happening, he feels Foggy turn, hears the soft thud of his fist hitting someone’s face.</p><p>Matt leaps forward and pulls Foggy back, while a girl he doesn’t know holds back the guy Foggy just hit.</p><p>“What the hell?!”the guy shouts.</p><p>“Don't say that again.” Foggy growls. </p><p>Matt’s never seen him like this. His blood rushing through his veins, breathing heavily, his knuckles bruising, the other guy’s nose bleeding.</p><p>“Fuck you.” Foggy says, and twists out of Matt’s grip, towards their dorm room.</p><p>Matt doesn't exactly understand what just happened, but he follows, just a second behind Foggy.</p><p>“What was that?”he asks, closing the door behind him. Foggy’s sitting on his bed, looking at his fist, at the knuckles, bright red from the impact, one of them bleeding. </p><p>Foggy sighs. “Nothing.”</p><p>Matt raises his eyebrows. </p><p>“Fine. He said something about you.” Foggy concedes.</p><p>“What did he say?” Matt asks, already taking out his first aid kit.</p><p>“Matt. come on. You don't want to know.”</p><p>Matt sits down beside foggy, takes his hand (okay yes it's soft and warm and-- that's not what we’re focusing on right now.)<br/>
‘’If it's something that hurts you, yes, I do.” he dabs at the bloody hand with antiseptic-soaked cotton. </p><p>Foggy sighs again. “He just- he called you gay,” he mumbles.</p><p>Matt’s surprised. He’s not sure what he expected, but it's certainly not this. </p><p>‘’And that’s such a bad thing?” he asks, getting up and tossing the cotton into a dustbin. </p><p>‘’No! No, I meant- he meant it as an insult. Not that being gay is bad, but using it as a slur...”</p><p>‘’Mm.” Matt frowns, thinking, then turns towards Foggy and smiles. He's slightly uncomfortable with this whole conversation, really. "Well, thank you. For standing up for me.”</p><p>“Yeah, well, he was a jerk.” Foggy stands up, raises his hand. “Should we get ice for this?” </p><p>‘’Oh! Yeah, come on.</p><p> </p><p>That night, he can’t help mulling over it. Over what it all means. Over what it means to Foggy, more specifically. Whether Foggy thinks it’s true. Whether he himself thinks it’s true. Does he? He’s never really considered himself anything but straight… has he?<br/>
He can't help thinking and thinking about it, but at the end, still as confused and conflicted as ever.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Years</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Time passes, and life goes on, as it is destined to. The pair of friends graduate from Columbia, finish the Landman and Zach internship (eating enough bagels to last a lifetime), start their own firm. Nelson and Murdock, attorneys at law. At first, Matt wants to tell Foggy, but he can never really find the perfect time, and the right words, and eventually he decides that perhaps never mentioning it is the right choice, that it might ruin what they have- friendship, a business, trust.</p><p>Matt gradually accepts his feelings, accepts that he loves Foggy and there’s nothing he can do about it. It settles in the back of his mind, this fact, and he doesn't worry too much about it. Tries not to think about it at all, actually. Can’t drown in guilt when he has responsibilities greater than himself.</p><p>Ah, yes. The other great change in his life: Matt’s nighttime forays, the man in the black mask, the nameless hero of Hell’s Kitchen.</p><p>Now that you’re all caught up: time for the real story to start</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>School started aaaagh. But I'll update this soon!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Part 3: Daredevil</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It’s a cold night out on the docks, a wind blowing in from the water. A man in a black mask crouches atop a large metal shipping container, his head tilted slightly, focused on all the small sounds around him. </p><p>Here's the thing: he's suspicious of a businessman (a Mr Clark whose face is plastered over half the billboards in town but whose real name nobody seems to know) who Matt is pretty sure is the leader of a drug smuggling ring.</p><p>So, naturally, he's here, following up on a lead. There's supposed to be a major shipment, and with any luck, Matt will be able to follow it, see where HQ is. </p><p>Life as a superhero is never easy though, is it? </p><p>Matt counts at least seven guards, all armed. But when the ship docks, he's in for an even bigger surprise: ten more heartbeats from inside the shipping container that just got dropped off.</p><p>Matt jumps down, kicks the gun out of the first guard's hand, and with a swift punch, knocks him out. The second, the third- within minutes all of them lie around unconscious, their guns scattered, some fallen into the water-- with Matt barely out of breath.</p><p>Matt walks to the container and breaks the locks, unbolts it. The stench of sickness and human waste hits him. Inside is another container. One with ten people inside. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Sorry I forgot time existed. School is killing me.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Part 4: People</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Matthew Murdock sits in his office, his fingers tracing papers from a case, but his thoughts are elsewhere. He's trying to listen in to where Claire is, but it's too far and the day is too noisy, and Matt keeps getting distracted by the sound of Foggy and Karen chatting in the next room. He gets up, grabs his coat.</p><p>"Where are you going?" Foggy asks him before he's even reached the door. </p><p>"I need to-"</p><p>"No. This case is way too important, Matt."</p><p>Matt grins. "I'll pay tonight at Josie's."</p><p>"Are you trying to bribe me?"</p><p>"No. I'm just.. treating you to drinks. Like you treat Mahoney's mother to cigars."</p><p>Foggy rolls his eyes. "I can't stop you, can I?"</p><p>"I'll be back soon, Fogs."</p><p> </p><p>The hospital corridors have a smell of disinfectant that's way too sharp. Matt hates it.</p><p>He follows Claire's voice up to the second floor. She's in a room with one of the girls from the day before, so he goes in.</p><p>"How are they?"</p><p>Claire looks over her shoulder, raises her eyebrows. </p><p>"Didn't know you came out during the day." She puts the girl's chart back.</p><p>"They're lucky you found them. And they really need medical care, but the hospital's being an ass about it."</p><p>"How much longer do you think you can keep them here?"</p><p>Claire bites her lip. "A day, maybe two. Not to mention if the police find out-"</p><p>"I'll take care of that."</p><p>"Great." Claire gives a tired smile. "I hope they live."</p><p>"Me too." </p><p>Matt turns to leave, then pauses, turns back.</p><p>"Thank you." He smiles at Claire.</p><p>She smiles back.</p><p>---------</p><p> </p><p>"What do you mean?" </p><p>"A man in a black mask-"</p><p>"I can hear, you idiot. Who is he? Where did they go?"</p><p>"If I knew-"</p><p>"Knew what?" A voice cuts in, and the bickering men straighten up, hold their rifles properly.</p><p>A man in a perfectly tailored black suit walks up to them. "Well?"</p><p>"Mr Clark." One of the security guards clears his throat. "Last night's shipment was.. um. Intercepted."</p><p>Clark raises an eyebrow. "I thought the police had no wind of this."</p><p>"It wasn't them, sir. Some sort of vigilante came and saved the shipment." The second guard explains. </p><p>Clark scowls. "Find him."</p><p>He starts to walk off, his voice carrying back to the guards. "Show him what happens when you mess with the devil."</p><p> </p><p>-----</p><p> </p><p>Foggy taps his foot, waiting. He sighs, gets out of the bar stool, walks outside.</p><p>Matt's walking (as fast as a blind man can) to Josie's and almost bumps right into Foggy. </p><p>Foggy narrows his eyes. "You're late."</p><p>Matt grins. "Got caught up, sorry."</p><p>Foggy shakes his head as they go in. "In what, is my question."</p><p>Matt just grins, changes the subject as he orders their drinks.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>More angst yet to come :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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